To Re-Envision

This blog's purpose is to be helpful to someone. There are a million things it wants to tell you and ways it hopes to encourage you in your writing and editing endeavors, and today's subject is revisions.

I sense an inward groaning at the sound of the word "revision," which is understandable. It's like changing the baby: no one really wants to do it, but everyone is glad when someone does.

As I mentioned in my post "The First Priority in Editing," Ann Janzer explains the proper steps in the revision process in "The Workplace Writer's Process: A Guide to Getting the Job Done." Janzer outlines what she calls the "top-down approach," emphasizing the importance of starting with the big (important) things. She says the first thing to focus on is the objective, then the overall flow, then the details. It is only after these revisions have been made that the final step, proofreading, should happen (2017).

For fun, I'm going to use these steps to edit one of my very own blog posts. In "Emailing Strangers" it begins

I feel uncomfortable whenever I need to send an email to someone I don't know. I think the opening is the hardest part.

Not really, I think closing the email is even harder.

If we start with the most impactful thing first (the objective of the post) we can ask, "Who am I talking to and why?" Well, I'm talking to you, the mostly imaginary readers of the present and the (hopefully) real readers from the future. But that isn't really the "who" we are talking about here. The real question is, why would anyone be reading a post called "Emailing Strangers"? Perhaps someone has to send an important email to someone and wants it to be just right. Or maybe someone is tired of writing/deleting/rewriting/deleting/rewriting/sending awkward emails (like I am). There could be many other reasons, but regardless of who the audience is, it is evident in the quote above that I'm not really talking to anyone but myself. Even though technically me talking to myself is what is actually happening, I am supposed to be talking to the reader.

Now that we can see the big picture, let's edit the beginning of the post (from the quote above):

It is common when writing emails, particularly to someone unknown to us, for feelings of cumbersome awkwardness to arise. For some reason, the opening words (called the "salutation") and the closing words (called the "valediction) are usually the most difficult part to write. I would like to help, but unfortunately, I can only share what I see as the best of the bad options that we have available to us.

This is a better opening because I explain the purpose of what I am writing instead of just rambling about how I struggle with feeling confident when writing emails to people I don't know.

However, the second thing to be considered is the sound of my revision. Is what I am saying easy to understand? How does it sound when I read it out loud? Does it have the tone that I want to convey? After asking myself these questions, I rewrite it to say

Writing emails, especially to someone unknown, can be awkward and cumbersome. For some reason, the opening and the closing words are the hardest part. In today's post, I will try to help by sharing my go-to opening words (also known as the salutation) and closing words (also known as the valediction).

Disclaimer: I only see the following options as the best of the not-so-great options we have available.

The third revision (what Anne Janzer calls "the third pass") is where we look at the little things. I check to make sure I didn't overuse or miss any commas. I double-check that "go-to" is supposed to be hyphenated. I read it out loud again and make sure there aren't any typos or misspellings.

And then, I go to bed because it's been a long day. Good night!

P.S. In the morning, after my brain has rested, I proofread it one more time. Having someone else read it is even better because eyes that do not belong to the writer are better at seeing mistakes. That's just how it is.